Mental Health Awareness: Ideas for Life Loving

May is Mental Health Awareness Month.

I know, I know, it is almost over- but it is never too late to think about yourself and your own well-being. Mental Health isn't just depression and suicide, although those are very important discussions. Sometimes, it is self care and loving yourself. Here are some things I struggle with, and I hope it will inspire you to revise your own practices for the better!

First of all, it is important to remember that life isn't Instagram perfect. I have an Etsy shop, and just as I take, edit, and filter my photos to show items in their best light, so do people with their lives. I was struck during a recent family get together- I have so many selfies and photos that I don't share because I am uncomfortable. With my weight, my hair, my pimples- which you would think have gotten the memo that I'm approaching 30, and need to find a younger face already. I digress.

You are you! You are amazing, and if you don't feel that way, start charting a way to fix it. I still feel self conscious about my size, but I want to make sure that I'm documented in my son's early life, rather than being the one constantly behind the camera. It bothers me when I'm physically unable to do something, but in the meantime, it is so important to me to be defined by something other than a pant size. Which brings me to my next point...

Don't wait for perfect. I've waited for so many things in hopes that I'll be more skinny/more successful/more _____ <-- Fill in the blank. I almost didn't do my jewelry shows because I was afraid of being judged for not looking the part- a plus-sized mom with bright red hair (that is usually cropped into a pixie!) Most of the other makers are svelte, blond and bright young professionals. Thanks to Rosaura over at Pigment&Parchment for posting a fabulous essay, (which I can't find at the moment!) that got me thinking straight and moving in the right direction.

In the same vein of don't wait- enjoy the things you want to now. Even if (ESPECIALLY IF) they're expensive. Let me explain- I'm not encouraging you to go out and spend your money that should be used for retirement. BUT, if you have room in your budget for an occasional splurge- take it. Alternatively, if you're buying things that you don't like/use/want simply because they're cheap, you need to reevaluate and spend wisely. I've done both.

I've bought so much stuff- at Anthropologie, on trips, impulse buys at the store (especially beauty products!) and saved it for a special occasion. That face cream that is $200 and supposedly will make you look like a photoshopped Vanessa ______ (fill in for your generation here!) --that stuff only works if you use it. The bedhead sexy bedhead spray works when you use it. The eye palette only looks amazing if you use it. I just cleaned out my bathroom and was shocked at how much stuff was OLD- and wasn't used.

Now, I'm obsessed with LUSH, and about to become obsessed with UrbApothecary (https://www.etsy.com/shop/UrbApothecary) and I USE my stuff. My hair is super cute and smells amazing because I use my Veganese and my R&B every night. My skin is clearer because I use my charcoal soaps. You have one life and you have to live it for yourself. So do it. Don't spend another $7.99 at Target on some un-named commercial soap if you really want something more luxe- it is okay to branch out and try new things. It is okay to treat yourself.

** When you throw away 3-4 expired, 1/2 full shampoo bottles, you could have purchased 2 of the luxe ones and loved 'em. Just saying.

*These are some high quality products made (fairly) locally in Santa Cruz. They smell amazing, and everyone I know is happy with the Rosehip body oil. I just followed my own advice and ordered some samples- check out their ETSY!

Let the world love you as you are, treat yourself, and nourish yourself! Connected to the above advice, I point thee to the...refrigerator. Yep. If you saw my awesome "shelfie" on instagram (edited, yes) you saw into my refrigerator. Here it is below, in case you were wondering. Not pictured was the meat and cheese drawer, or the veggie drawer- however, I'll still show it to illustrate my point. (1) It is pretty bare- I've got guac, pico, yellow tomatoes, lemons, 1 blood orange, eggs, coffee and blueberries. The green container has some overcooked brown rice that I make to have some easy, healthy carbs. It is slightly the consistency of steel cut oats, and I'll eat 1/2 (and split the other half with the dog- see my dog food post!)

Elsewhere in there I've got two blocks of cheese, beer (to keep things from disappearing into the back of the cheese drawer!) 1 carrot, 1 zucchini, and 1 small head of broccoli. I've got condiments galore on the door, along with a gallon of milk and some chocolate sauce. Why am I telling you all of this?

I think that making sure you have real food, healthy food is paramount, and it is important to be realistic. I used to buy a whole bundle of carrots. 2-3 heads of lettuce. And it would all wither. and die. $100 in groceries for only me?

(The man and the boy do not like veggies, at all.)

So now, I just buy what I love, and what I can eat. Even if it is only one carrot.

Finally, my advice for Mental Health May is to say: Find your own "Adult." So many of my friends laugh and make jokes about "adulting". We live in a strange time, when so many are marred with student debt, live with their parents, or are not pursuing the traditional 9-5. I'm a perfect example- I like to joke that I've done everything backwards- Had a 9-5 (before the business folded) had a kid, went for my degree, got a dog, then started my own home business (still in the making!)

Find terms you can live with to define your success, rather than look to other milestones. You are the one that you absolutely must live with for the rest of your life, and it doesn't make sense to compromise your own path to fulfill someone else's "adult" checklist. So buy what you want, and craft your own life.

Other ideas for life loving:

* Take a day trip with friends based on a coin flip. This is all about getting outside your comfort zone. Note: Use a coin flip app in the car, lest the coin hit the driver, fall into the footwell, or insipre any other shenanigans.

*Plan a potluck picnic. Bring a frisbee. Enlist friends and entrust them with food responsibilities. Let fun ensue.

BONUS: Friends and relationships wither with age- keep them strong with regular get togethers. This will help BOTH parties- keeping a strong tribe helps you through the hard times.

*Make something! This could be a DIY online. It could be an omelette. It could be a sugar scrub. As adults, our DIY spirit sometimes takes a backseat to more mundane tasks (which are necessary!) That said, engaging a new part of your brain can help break out of a rut.

Happy Mental Health May, and let me know what you do to keep yourself at an even keel.